Firewood Sale

SPECIAL SALE: One of a kind firewood (with photo documentation) $100 per cord. Email me for additional info.

(Cash only; no pick up; delivery only. Mention code "STUMP" and receive a free subscription to "Drive-by Blogger Titanium".)

Who Be a Racist? Chop Chop

OK, so I just learned that the term "ticket scalper" is derived from the old west when fucking Injun savages would raid the railroad ticket offices, kill the ticket person, got into "white face" and over charged cowboys and cowcunts for railroad tickets.

I also just learned that Polish people are stupid because even though in school districts up in Chicago that are primarily Polish, the school system refuse to teach these TadPollocks in the Polish language.

I also just learned that the French never surrender. They just raise their arms so that the stench will knock out their enemy. (Not sure what the white hankie means.)

I also learned that the majority of Mexicans (53%) have never rode in the back of a pickup truck.

I also learned that most male Muslims (50.5%) who are Arabs have never fucked a goat.

I also learned that if you don't like President Barack Obama's health care plan, you are a fucking racist.

Proof There is No God?

Edward Moore "Ted" Kennedy outlived the following:

Mother Theresa
Pope John (whatever fucking number he was)
Linda Lovelace
Farrah Fawcett
Les Paul
Gidget (The Taco Bell Dog, not that eternal virgin slut moron)
Walter Cronkite
Andre The Giant
Billy Mays
Ed McMahon
Vern Gosdin
Bea Arthur
Marilyn Chambers
Louie Bellson (He was a drummer and had Parkinson's disease. Seems perfect to me.)
Miss Goldy, my pet gold fish.

If God exists, he sure took his fucking time dealing with this bum.

Facts Regarding Michael Vick and The Philadelphia Eagles

Michael Vick is almost as hated as I am. Woof fucking woof!

Michael Vick publicly apologizes for what he did to those dogs including electrocuting, torturing and killing dogs for fun. We all know that had he not gotten caught, he was going to quit that very same week anyway and publicly announce what he was doing to them dogs and offer up an apology. Also, Angelina Jolie has taken me up on my offer to sit on my face. I also won the lottery. I am a brain Surgeon. Fuck you Vick.

The Philadelphia Chinese Restaurateurs' Assc. released the following statement:
"We no like him here. He play somewhere else. He need to go away chop chop. We afraid he takes away our most popular dinner, Moo Shu Shih Tzu for customers to eat and we lose very much business. This very bad. Me so horny".

According to Cult and Garden Monthly, the management of the Philadelphia Eagles are working out a deal with the Justice Dept. to give Charles Manson a "second chance" and if they can swing it, Manson will become the Eagles new defensive coordinator. Manson was quoted as saying, if given the job, he will add new weapons for the Eagles defense but refused to say exactly what weapons on advice by counsel.

Philly, you guys really outdid your archenemy, them fucking Dallas Cowboys. I had always pulled for the Eagles to beat the Cowboys but this year....it's "GO COWBOYS!

Dedicated to Spotty. You were my best friend but mom got rid of you because you peed on the floor so much. I still miss you and I suppose I always will. It's hard not knowing where your big brother is.

Comrade Obama's Health Plan Video Leak

OK, if you use MP3 Rocket to "share" music, you know there are TV stations you can get for free. Apparently this was supposed to remain confidential for at least one more week but was leaked anonymously this afternoon at approximately 1:45 EDT on the Federation News Network. According to unnamed sources, the "party" will require every American to watch this video 5 times a day beginning on January 2, 2010.

You can be sure that the fallout from this will thrust Obama's Health Redistribution Plan from the microscope to a telescope.

U. S. A. - United Socialist of America

Hello Comrades

This fucking president is now creeping me out. It proves that you are better off with a fucking re-tard than this calculating mother fucking socialist.

We have socialized the banking industry or at the very least, we are on our way to structure these institutions to provide much more information about who we are. Fucking cars are being subsidized on both the front and back end. Is there just one fucking economist who isn’t afraid of being labeled a racist and speak up about this nut’s government “welfare rebate” aka “cash for clunkers” aka “dooms-fucking day” subsidy and how it will make the last auto industry financial catastrophe look like a fucking tea party? Have we all forgotten basic economics 101 or are we supposed to under our new fucking leader?

And you all thought “trickle down economics” was voodoo. Fuck me, then this is fucking Revelations. “Trickle” you dumb fucks, not fucking "Niagara fucking fucked up fucking Falls". (Dorkie….keep count please, that’s how we met, remember?

Oh yeah, and then there’s gonna be fucking electric cars. What a fucking joke. This country’s power grid is older than D.O.S. (Fuck I miss those old D.O.S. games!) Imagine if you will all these people charging their electric cars each night. No way will any power company handle that demand unless we build more fucking power plants and since we are trying to be “green”, then it must be fucking nuclear. That will be expensive. But, no need to worry about that. Fucking Obama is putting millions of gasoline guzzling taxpayer sponsored new fucking cars on the road and destroying good cars that are turned in. Forget about poor people who can’t afford a car. He could give the car to them but we won't. Crush those mother fuckers up you fucking moron.

Now, we all know what’s in the Health Plan, right? Or are those pubicans just trying to scare us. Fucking liberal bloggers say that’s it. It’s scare tactics. OK, so then mother fucker, what is the fucking plan?

Will it provide coverage for meds? Fucking Canada doesn’t. Will it cover me abroad? Canada’s doesn’t. Will my taxes go up. No way. Somebody got to pay 60% to 80% like they do in those other socialistic countries who by the way, send their real sick patients to us, but that won’t happen here. No fucking way.

We have turned loose on this democratic “capitalist” society a terrorist and his name is Barrack fucking Obama and he will do more damage to our society than George re-tard fucking Bush and Osama Ben fuck you in the ass Laden combined. It is apparent that many of our freedoms are in fucking jeopardy and all we care about is that our first black president does well. FUCK FUCK FUCK. He’s our President mother fuckers. Quit pulling for him because he is black.

Like all them “undocumented Americans”….(is that a new p.c. label for illegal fucking immigrants because if it is, I will certainly quit using that term) who were partying in the fucking streets like a bunch of lunatics because some Spanish speaking cunt gets on the fucking supreme court. Who gives a flying fuck if she is Mexican, Puerto Rican or a fucking Eskimo? If you think it matters, them you are the fucking racist you dumb fucks.

Oh my fucking God, I think I’m having a stroke. If I have a stroke and become paralyzed while having a full erection, does it stay that way?

New Orleans Taliban Soccer Club

My good friend and ex-fantasy lover lippy means well and she really is a nice person no matter what many of NOLA bloggers have said recently. But she has some sort of post up on her blog which by the way is real short for a change and I was able to focus the whole time without drifting off daydreaming that Angelina Jolie was sitting on my face which happens to me a lot more than I think it should. But fuck, I'm not a trained psychiatrist! Anyway, where was I at? Whatever.

Anyway, we should leave these buildings stand, remodel them a bit and move those terrorists fucks from Guantanamo Bay into these facilities. I don't know why President Obama has such a hard-on to move those guys out of Cuba but hey, he's black; I can only question his actions so far until I am hacked down as some sort of racist. Anyway, the feds would then have to pay New Orleans to house these fucks. Those who behave themselves could be released and integrated into the New Orleans population and become productive citizens although I'm a little fearful that our native citizens may be a bad influence on these fucks. So we have a delima.

Tear down those altar boys' ancient chambers of horrors, use these structures to house terrorists or just allow these monuments to stand as we have Auschwitz so that we shall never forget? These are not not easy questions nor is it easy times.

OK, gonna hit the hot tub with a Manhattan Iced Tea.

On a personal note. TC, gonna miss you. Hope I get to see you when you all come in to play the Hornets.

Also, the title of this post makes no fucking sense but I couldn't come up with a good title so I used this one. My second choice was "Angelina Jolie Sits on My Face".