If you’re in town for the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival and this is your first or second visit to the Big Easy, and for whatever reason you are wasting your time reading this, here's some advice. Do not do what I’ll be doing today. Avoid Robert Plant and Alyson Krauss. Avoid Sheryl Crow. In the coming days, avoid Jimmy Buffett, avoid Billy Joel, avoid Tim McGraw. Trust me; you can see them in concert anywhere and under much better conditions.
Leave the heavy weights to us locals; we have that luxury. We can hear "our" music, we can smell the jambalaya and we can taste that gumbo anytime we want.
When you enter the Fairgrounds, let your senses take over. They will lead you to Wayne Toups & Zydecajun, Young Tuxedo Brass Band, Big Chief Monk Boudreaux & the Golden Eagles, Irma Thomas, Anders Osborne, Second Mt. Carmel Gospel Choir and 100s of others. They are why you came to New Orleans.
Skip breakfast. Join in a feast of New Orleans cooking from the various choices including Wanda Walker's cochon de lait po-boys, Natchitoches Crawfish Pies or get in line with me for some Crawfish Monica. Again, follow and trust your senses.
Take advantage of this opportunity to lose your virginity to the culture of New Orleans. Of you, I am jealous. Of me, you should be more jealous.
Friday, April 25, 2008
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16 comments:
Avoid Robert Plant, Billy Joel, Sheryl Crow and Jimmy Buffet? Oh yeah, that's brilliant advice. I trust you about as much as as I trust George Bush.
Anon, those folks are NOT the reason why JazzFest was put on this earth. D-BB's is the best advice concerning Festing I've heard in a long while - and more folks should do that.
F.Y.I. New Orleans needs 'those folks' more than they need Jazzfest. We ain't back yet, and we can use every heavy-hitter we can get. Show a little hometown support.
See, it's posts like this that make me wanna move to NOLA. . .
And hug you!!
Anon, perhaps you would recommend tourists from Europe in town for Jazz fest to save a couple of bucks and get a Big Mac before heading to the Fest???? I embrace the heavy weights….but for tourists wanting to experience of the culture of New Orleans…… Awww you know what, fuck you you brain dead piece of shit, I am not going to sit here and rewrite what brainless head can’t understand.
Lippy, try the Crawfish Strudel and by all means, behave yourself. Remember, flashing for Mardi Gras beads is only allowed during Mardi Gras.
Holy fucking gumbo Bat Man!!!! Having Dorkie-She as a NOLA Blogger would kick some serious ass.
And hug you back (with a little ass grab while I'm at it).
Here's a prediction - tonight after Billy Joel finishes his show, everyone who saw him will say he was the best act at the festival. And you - the original brain dead piece of shit- will still be standing in a line waiting for some Crawfish Monica. Have fun dickhead!
Why is it always those who post "anonymous" appear to be so fucking stupid?
I was there yesterday and saw Plant & Krauss and Sheryl Crow. U see asshole, I can see the other acts every weekend and most week nights. Tourists cannot. It's the "culture" you fucking re-tard that sells the city. That’s what I was saying fuck brains.
I hope you get a fucking sun stroke while Billy Joel serenades you with that Nawlens classic "Scenes From an Italian Restaurant".
And I hope you get food poisoning from your po-boy or choke to death with your fat mouth stuffed full of Crawfish Pie. No one is disputing the delights of our local culture, but this town needs as much national exposure as it can get to help revive our impoverished economy. Those big name artists are helping to do exactly that. No exposure -no tourists. No tourists- no money. No money - no New Orleans. Are you living in a bubble, asshole? Go ahead and bite your nose to spite your face, you smug fuck.
I got a great idea, let's keep all the local bands out, just bring in acts from around the world and contract the food out to Wendy's.
Let's see, what shall we call it? I know....Woodstock!!!!!!
D-BB, this post is fucking brilliant.
But the cochon de lait po-boy lines were insane. The damn TP had to go an write them up.
Okay, let's do it your way, Einstein. How about only booking local acts with no outside big names allowed? That's sure to attract international press coverage and bring in tons of tourists spending scads of money all over N.O. Brilliant,huh? You can call it..................... ....'Woodpeckers'! P.S. Billy Joel was fucking awesome, despite our glorious local weather.
celcus, I have one word for you....."Thursday". Going back Thursday with no big acts to distract me. Crowds will be a bit thinner and it will be reminiscent Jazz Fest 1978 all over again. As I stated earlier, go for some Crawfish Strudel….for $5.00, trust me. (Actually will cost you $10 or $15 because if you’re like me…2nd and 3rd helpings were required.)
Anon, are you just fucking stupid or just fucking with me? I went and saw the big names asshole.
Let me make this simple since your IQ is obviously the same as your LEAP test score was in reading comprehensive.
Big acts are good. I would like to see more of them. I go and see them. For tourists though, the big attraction is not something they could see in air condition Madison Square Garden but something they can only see in New Orleans you fucking culturally challenged piece of shit. And that is Mardi Gras Indians, New Orleans blues, New Orleans gospel, Louisiana Zydeco…are you getting any clue yet retarded moron?
Fuck fuck fuck I hate stupid fucking people. If only your mother had been pro choice….what a fucking gift to humanity that would have been.
SLAM!!!
You know, I texted my mom once and told her she should have had the abortion. . . She was so hella pissed dude!!!
**slaps you for the ass grab, kisses you better. I know that had to sting.**
Blow it out your ass, crawfish breath. You don't know a damn thing about how these festivals are supposed to benefit this city. Go ahead and live in your fairy tale world of genteel pre-Katrina Nawleans. It's not surprising that you're so full of yourself, considering you've got your head jammed so far up your ass. Fuck you AND your mother.
Dorkie....you make me smile.
anudda New Orleanian here... For the first time ever, I saw the big names (Plant & Crowe) and skipped most of our local acts and don't really regret it too much - my strategy might have been different if I didn't just get my fill of French Quarter Fest. Then again, as part of my strategy, I watched Susan Cowsill & Teressa Andersson and they were both great.
I wish I could afford to go more than just one day. Thank goodness for FQF. Local brass bands and gospel acts are my favorites.
Anyway, that jazz fest softshell crawfish poboy was one of the best things I ever ate.
Man, I want to go back Thursday.
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